


Endings and new beginnings

by Kissmekate_m



Category: Grace and Frankie (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 05:39:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18404225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kissmekate_m/pseuds/Kissmekate_m
Summary: Post season 5. Lots of Nick and Grace angst.  Sensitive subject matter.  Some Grace and Frankie too...but nothing explicit.





	Endings and new beginnings

Endings and new beginning. 

Post season 5.

Be prepared...references to abortion, miscarriage, and loss of a child.

This is heavy on the Nick drama....but also features Grace and Frankie

Feedback appreciated. Apologises in advance for any typos. ;). Enjoy.

You have a tattoo, it's sexy as hell said Nick quietly to Grace. It's a birthmark is all, it's not sexy either responded Grace. Nick stopped kissing her and raised himself up on one arm to look at her. I thought we were past this Grace. We've been married 6 months. I love you. You're beautiful. And you have a tattoo that you obviously don't want to talk about. So… with a sigh Nick sat up and moved to the edge of the bed. He wanted to be snarky and say so this is how Robert felt, but he knew it wasn't Robert either of them were thinking about. The elephant in the bed with them was very feminist and hippy. That and Nick knew that Robert probably never truly saw Grace, or was too busy thinking about his boyfriend to notice when things went from cool to subarctic between he and Grace. Unfortunately Nick was all too familiar with the this sensation and try as he might, he couldn't lash out in anger at Grace, he couldn't make her love him, despite his best efforts.

Breaking the silence between them Grace said I'm sorry. I know I sound like a broken record. I really do love you. It's just...I just…

It's just you love Frankie too. I get it. I do. I just wish I could… I just wish it didn't hurt so much.

Me too whispered Grace, oh God me too. 

Nick looked at Grace, and his heart broke all over again but he knew he had to let her go. Finally he said, you know I'm a bit of a masochist. And an egotistical bastard. I usually get what I want without much effort. But that day when I saw you in my office, I was so focused on wanting you I didn't register Frankie's jealousy for what it actually was. I guess a part of me knew we'd end up here when on our first date, you only had eyes for Frankie and making her wish come true. Oh Nick, that's not 100% true. I mean yes, hot air balloons are definitely Frankie's thing and definitely not mine, but it was our first date so…. It's about 90% true though Grace plus Frankie's jealousy was probably the only honest emotion expressed the day we met. You were so deeply committed to playing the quote Grace Hanson seductress extraordinaire unquote, that you never really saw Frankie or I's real emotional response. Honestly, there's only so many times I can say you're beautiful, or I don't care about the age difference, or touch you and break down your walls til you orgasm for real. Because here we are. There's obviously a story behind why Robert's initials are tattooed on your hip, but, for the life of me, I don't know how to make you tell me that story. And I am your husband. Do you even know why you married me? I'm thinking it's because you and Frankie were fighting. Or maybe it's because Robert spent 20 years being gay with Sol, you can't let him out do you. I'm sorry that last remark was unfair….

Grace reached up and touched Nick's face. I love you. I do. But you're right, it's not fair to string you along like Robert did me. Cupping Nick's face in her hands Grace looked into Nick's eyes. God I love you. You're patient, and kind, and perceptive. And egotistical. And young. And sexy. Grace sighed and looked away. I just can't love you the way you deserve to be loved. Tears running down her cheeks, Grace said you know what sucks the most about all of this? I'm hurting you the way Robert hurt me….and I can't help it. But I at least owe you the boon of breaking this off now instead of 20 years from now.

Plus I should tell you about the tattoo...

No. Actually I won't tell you. It would only hurt you again. Plus you want honest emotion? We're just prolonging the inevitable here. You accused me of pushing you away. And I told you on our first date that I suck at relationships. Honestly just let me go. You can go sleep with the Penelope Cruz wanna be or lil Kelly...or.. 

Fuck you Grace. You don't get to do that. Push me away, close me out, tell me to go fuck someone else who's not you. But you're right. Until you finally learn to love yourself...you're not gonna be happy or find fulfilment in any relationship. Nick let out a deep sigh, honestly you know what...I've never been mean or angry with you Grace, but maybe you need that to shock you out of your ice house protective shell. So go. And I don't know..fuck Frankie or something…

Grace let out a half laugh half sigh. Yeah she's not even speaking to me...let alone flirting with me. God Nick. I'm sorry. This is why I can't tell you about the tattoo. I already hurt you just talking about Frankie. 

Running his hands through his hair, Nick leaned into his emotions again. To be honest, I don't know if I meant fuck Frankie because you love her in a way you don't love me.. or, the way you interpreted it. But I do know it doesn't matter... we're back to our first date when you friend zoned me to make a wish with Frankie. 

Nick…. No Grace. Don't make this worse. Don't twist the knife. You know you're right. I will go fuck some much younger woman. Maybe I will take her on trips, and answer her texts during business meetings, and buy her favorite vodka, and make her yell my name for real, and ask her about her tattoo and have her say oh that….I was drunk one night and got a silly meaningless tattoo….and I will pretend she means it...and 

It's not a meaningless. I wasn't drunk. And honestly I think we do need a break. All this is doing is twisting the knife. I'm sorry, said Grace touching Nick's face. I truly love you. But realistically, I hate that younger woman already, but I hope she loves you with her whole heart. You deserve that. 

Grace kissed Nick.oh good, no..no. Stop. She pushed him away. No. You said don't twist the knife. I'll get dressed and I'm outta here. 

Last time Grace was in this seedy end of town she was so bent on getting drunk she didn't notice her car was stolen. And Frankie had refused to pick her up. Here's hoping she'll talk to me this time, said Grace as she finally pulled into the Del Taco parking lot. White knuckling the steering wheel, Grace activated the Bluetooth. Call Frances. Hello? Hi. Don't hang up. I'm at Del Taco. What do you want? Okay Brianna. Ha ha...you know the veggie burrito is my favorite. And extra cheese. This is not Brianna...but yeah I know veggie and extra cheese….god I missed this. Frankie looks at her phone and sees it's Grace calling and whispers I miss this to...Kevin. Then she looks and sees the burrito wrappers she leaves in Grace's chair just so it won't be so empty and sighs. Into the phone she says I'm not really in a Del Taco mood. You can feel free to share with Nick though. Frankie's words cut deep. Oh..okay. I'm fine. It's fine. I guess we can't fix this with Del Taco... I'm … this is… god... I'm gonna hang up now.

Grace….please….Frankie hates how desperate she sounds so she forces some levity into her voice...look Grace, you're right, we can't fix this with Del Taco...are you sober? Did Nick's driver take you to DelTaco? Yes and no. I broke up with Nick. And unfortunately I am sober..ish. 

Frankie wiped away a tear and said aww Frigg … well sober..ish I can maybe work with. Meet me at the art museum. I know the curator. He gave me a key. Plus the night watchman is kinda cute...in a decidedly non Ben Stiller way thank god.

Oh Frances I missed this... I missed this too Kevin.

Oh my God Frankie why didn't you tell me you had a permanent display in local artists...that's so cool...without thinking about it Grace hugged Frankie close….go you. This is so amazing… you did it. Yeah well you were kinda busy jetting off to wherever or marrying Nick, so when was i supposed to fill you in? 

Frankie's heart dropped as she said the words and watched them hit home. She instantly wished she could snatch them back. I'm sorry…

No, no Frankie. I'm sorry. There seems to be a glut of tell Grace how you really feel going on tonight but it's okay….I'm still sober ish. And I'm fine. Well I agree you are still soberish, but you're not fine. Out will it….did Nick suddenly decide to do a feeling circle? Oh God.. did he cheat on you? Was it with a woman this time at least?

Grace smiled through her tears. No, he didn't cheat. But yes there is a woman between us. And unfortunately there's also Robert between us...so it's a lot to unpack and I am tired of being sober ish.

Oh Grace….come on. Let's go back to the house. I have a housekeeper now. She cleaned your space up...you're welcome to stay...Bud hired an actual contractor, with actual credentials and references that we checked several times….so as cool as a flip switch slip and slide staircase would have been...there is an actual elevator now. 

Now I know I'm too damn sober. Did you say housekeeper? And elevator?

Walking into the house was a surprise. Frankie had redecorated, probably with Allison's help, as it was tasteful yet avant garde. Yeah... I rearranged things slightly...follow me. Off the kitchen was a new door. Here. It's kind of cool actually…second floor please….as you wish said an automated voice. Now I know I'm too sober what the actual …. Then the doors opened and they were in the greenhouse. Frankie…. Did I mention the contractor was really amazing and we'll credentialed….come on. Here's your room. I didn't let them change very much. Grace walked in, the room was the same, but different. There was more natural light. The walls were a soft purple. The comforter was different. It had the same bones though...the same pictures hung on the walls. There were flowers. Then she saw it, the picture of her with a martini and fangs...hanging displayed will it's own spotlight. Suddenly an overly cheerful Frankie said here...let me show you this. In the opposite corner was a small dorm size refrigerator with several bottles if vodka and a small alcove of martini glasses. It was positioned so you could sip your drive and enjoy the art display.

All of a sudden Grace felt lightheaded. A rush of adrenaline and deep emotion, combined with the a lack of alcholic to smooth out the raw edges was to much for her. Frankie caught her as she started to fall.

Frankie I can't…..shh..it's okay. Just lay back. Relax. I'm taking these ankle breakers you wear off now. Good night. Frankie...don't leave. Grace patted the bed next to her. Stay. Please. I can't….

Okay but only because you said please. 

Several hours later...

Grace rolled over and snuggled up closer to the body in her bed. This wasn't Nick...this Frankie. Still half asleep she whispered I love you Frances, I'm glad to be home.

I love you too Grace said Frankie would a forehead kiss.

Feeling the lips on her forehead made Grace sigh contentedly, but it also broke the spell sleep had over her. She wasn't sure she wanted Frankie to know she was awake, but she couldn't resist the desire to rub Frankie's arm that was so casually draped over her hip. The moan of surprise mixed with a slight sound of desire, was too primal for Grace. She heard Nick's voice….don't twist the knife...she heard her own voice... I'm gonna go. 

Frankie….. no, don't speak. I'm gonna go...I forgot something in my studio. Go back to sleep Grace. Frankie, don't go. I have to. Please...don't go. Grace sat up slowly, please...can we talk? Really talk? I don't know. Are you still married to Nick? Cause I'm gonna be real honest here. I'm not at all interested in being sloppy seconds and if that's what this is I'm outta here. God no. I'm not sure the exact meaning of that phrase but ...yes I'm still legally married. And we're on hiatus. I'm pretty sure he said he wanted to fuck other women and I gave him permission to find one who could love him with her whole heart. And God it's too early in the morning to be this sober...and we're not at a place where we can talk about it … and I'm sorry… Grace just burst into tears and laid her head on Frankie's collarbone.

shh, said Frankie placing a finger to Grace's lips. One thing I will say is when you said you wanted to really talk you weren't lying. True. No more lying. I have a tattoo. Nick saw it. I couldn't tell him about it. Ironically it has everything and nothing to do with Robert, and honestly he never even noticed it in 30 years. But when Nick noticed it, I didn't want him to see it…. I couldn't...I wanted to tell you first. 

Putting a lilt of humor in her voice, Frankie asked. Did you just proposition me, and ask me to find your hidden tattoo? because that's kinky even for me….wait did you really just say you told Nick to fuck other women? I know I'm not that high? What the actual fuck is going on here? Where's the real Ice princess Grace I know and love? Did the wards against spirits fail? 

 

Maybe...ugh. Yes, I told Nick to move on. Yes, I have a tattoo. Maybe I kinda did want you to find it. I guess I missed our sexual tension more than I thought. And God I need a drink.

Wow.

Yeah … wow.

That's big...so tell me about this reality changing tattoo already.

It's for my son. Ironically it is a birthmark. And it is Robert's initials, I stupidly thought naming him Robert Jr would somehow save our marriage. I thought...he admires his new partner Sol, he and Frankie have two sons….maybe if I have a son too…. 

Oh my God... said Frankie as Grace weeped into her collarbone. It's okay. It's okay. Tell me. Did you put him up for adoption? Oh God that day when we met Krystal, Coyote's birth mother…..oof when we found out Bud's birth mother had OD'd….oh Grace, do you know where he is?

Yes. I know where he is. No I didn't put him up for adoption.

Oh God Grace...I'm so sorry. Oh God….when...oh shit, when you got so sick….when you had the hysterectomy. Oh Grace….it's okay...no, it's not okay, but it's okay to tell me…

Without thinking about it Frankie kissed Grace's lips. Once their lips touched Grace came undone. All the pain, all the love, all the desire, she kissed Frankie back with a passion. Okay yeah I guess you have kissed a girl, damn, but okay...wow...but not the time….

Can we not talk and just kiss again? Oh we can definitely kiss again. But first we talk. So did you miscarry? Did you have an abortion? Oh God...did Robert….

No, Robert didn't physically hurt me. He didn't know I was pregnant. I was 40 ish. I didn't think I could get pregnant again. I had Brianna and Mallory. I had Say Grace. I had a well developed drinking habit. I'd gained weight. I was sick. I thought, great, menopause. So I talked to my Dr. And there he was. He was so little. He had no heartbeat. He was there on the sonogram, in the pictures, but the monitor was silent. I was poked and prodded and more sonograms were done….but he stayed silent. Then I hemorrhaged. And he was born. And he didn't cry. Then I went home. And then I went to confession. Then I buried him Mount Olivet cemetery. But I didn't stop bleeding. So I called you. Asked you to once again babysit the girls. I had to have surgery. It was safer for me to have a hysterectomy than just a tubal ligation. Honestly I didn't want to be pregnant again ever. Grace took in a deep breath. Frankie just sat silently and nodded her head, too afraid to break Grace's monologue with her own words. On my 50th birthday, the year he would have been 10. Brianna suggested all three of us get tattoos. I said no. But then I went back the next week. It's a birthmark, on my hip. It's Robert's initials, it's a butterfly. Robert never saw it. Never cared to find it. Nick found it last night and said it was sexy and beautiful. It's neither of those things. We fought, we talked, we fought, we...took a hiatus said Grace with a dismissive hand gesture. So yeah I told him to go find other younger women, who would tell a funny story about a drunken run in with a tattoo artist….and I couldn't tell him...what business did he have loving an old woman who could never give him children? What business did I have treating him like Robert treated me? What business did I have being with him and shielding his feelings and wanting to come here and share this with you? It's not fair. In that moment, he was my son. Not in an incest way….nothing like that. In a primal soul crushing way. In a way that ended all possibly of him being my husband. Nick said he always knew, from the moment I friend zoned him from our first date when I re-gifted his hot air balloon ride to make your wishes come true. I guess I never really heard that until now.

Grace I….

No more talking. You said after we talked we could kiss again…. So we talked. And on that note Grace pulled Frankie in for a kiss.

I know you said no more talking….and yet, said Grace. Yeah I'm gonna shut up now, said Frankie as she returned Grace's kiss.


End file.
